The Most Toxic Belief You Have

Let’s say you had a bad day. You come home and your kids left dishes in the sink or your partner never text you back to say, “I’m sorry you’re having a bad day, how can I make it better?”

So, you lash out at them for their insensitivity or lack of consideration. That’s what they’re there for, right? To pick you up when you’re feeling bad. To make things “better”.


Sorry friend, but that’s wrong as hell…


It’s easy to say, “You made me feel shitty because you did…”. Or tell yourself if they were really a good (insert title), they should know what to do (or not do.)

Blaming or putting responsibility for your feelings onto anyone else other than yourself is toxic, for several reasons. Here's two...

  1. You’re giving away power to others to control your feelings.
  2. You’re pushing responsibility onto them to manage your well-being. 


Instead, here are some...

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What Pulse Did For Me & Why We All Desperately Needed It

It was about 10 years ago when I first stepped into Pulse, tipsy from a few hours of pre-gaming at my then boyfriend’s house. His roommate and best friend had just come out but was intimidated by the Orlando gay scene. He was still trying to find his place in all of it.

We spent the whole night trying to talk him into going with us, to no avail. So, we offered to go “check it out” for him and report back the vibe.

I know my place as a cis-straight ally, and I understand it’s not my turf. But the second I walked through the chain curtain doorway, I felt love. Every chasm, every hallway, every dance floor, was filled with pure joy and acceptance of every person under that roof.

We moved to the back bar where I saw the best drag show of my life. Sitting at the bar, watching my enthusiasm, was a cute, dark-haired man. We locked eyes and he danced his way over to me. His name was Tim. He was sweet, hilarious, just a little tipsy like me. He worked for Disney. We...

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Why You Shouldn't Give A Fuck About Mannequins


I weigh 229 lbs. I’m a size 14. I spend my time exercising with low-impact routines outdoors these days because I like it and my body likes it. When I was a runner, I would run 4 miles, 3-4 times a week. In THIS body.


I can’t say I read The Telegraph Tanya Gold’s poor excuse for an article in its entirety, but everything I needed to know was within the first 3 paragraphs. To speak with such reproach for plus-sized inclusion is the shame cocktail being handed out at every closed-door elitist party.


Shame Cocktail

Serves 1

-Two-parts societal fear-mongering

-One-part elitist propaganda

-Twist of self-revulsion.


But the greatest disservice Ms. Gold provided was the sheer lack of journalistic research to back her alarmist perspective.


Although the number of studies in body image, particularly within the body positive movement, is lacking, there’s significant research showing the correlation between those who hold a positive...

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Should You Hire A Coach?

Since becoming a coach, I get asked a lot about how I help my clients. My first time working with a life coach was so impactful. I knew instantly this was the career for me and I was going to invest in coaching into the foreseeable future for my own growth.

But how do you know if you should too? Below are the top 3 benefits to help you answer the question, “Should I hire a coach?”.

Coaches hold the belief that you are who you want to be.

Coaching isn’t just about helping you get shit done. Coaches hold the space for you to be who you’re trying to be. When you’re doubting if something you've never done is possible, they remind you why it is. When you’re struggling to go back to your old patterns, they walk you through the cognitive aspects of behavior management. Most importantly, coaches already believe you’re the person you want to be and help you think and act from that mindset. They don’t have any expectation, bias, or...

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Is Perception Reality?

I was talking to my husband over the holiday weekend about our future. We were sitting eating brunch in Long Island City. It was a beautiful day. The weather was perfect. He’s been recently interviewing with a company that would take us in a different direction we’ve been planning.


He was explaining his overwhelm to me. It was completely understandable. He asked me what I thought so I offered him my perspective.


I was choosing to believe that no matter what happened, we would make it work. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, my belief made me feel calm, excited even, for what was about to come. I offered him my belief so he could choose to feel the same.


Instead, he heard, “She wants me to think like her. How I think isn’t good enough.” We got into an argument.


Has this ever happened to you?


Have you ever had a disagreement with someone, only to revisit the conversation later and realize they completely misinterpreted what...

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Lessons From Brené Brown On Boundaries

Last week, I spoke about what it means to be body positive on social media (follow me here if you don’t already). To be "body positive" is to approach yourself with love, kindness, and compassion, regardless of how you feel about yourself in the moment.


But how do we build compassion for ourselves?


Last Monday, I heard Brené Brown speak at The Wing. She discussed her new Netflix special and what it means to be courageous. I was expecting her to be amazing, and of course, she was! But I wasn’t expecting her to add the depth she did to my understanding of being self-compassionate.


What impacted me the most was when she discussed boundaries. She said, “compassion doesn’t exist without boundaries.” She went on to blow my mind. “Boundaries are not fake walls. They’re not separation or division; they are respect.”


This got me thinking about self-love and self-compassion and how it’s impossible to...

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